Older sister expects 25-year-old chef brother to feed her 3 kids under 10 for free daily because he is the only person who can make them eat vegetables: 'I told her it's a big ask'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Nov 9, 2024 12:00 PM EST

It's one of the most classic and common parenting predicaments out there: how do you get your kids to eat their greens? Since time immemorial, moms and dads have despaired over how to try and make broccoli seem fun. It's no wonder that if they manage to find something that works they have no intention of letting it go.

One mom was recently convinced that she had discovered just the trick to get her picky kids to eat vegetables, and it came in the form of her sous chef younger brother. Babysitting them after school, he used some kitchen magic that had them eating healthier food with no problem, but his sister just couldn't get it to translate at home. Her solution was to request he cook for them every day for free even when he was working, but he wasn't so sure about this arrangement—and the internet wasn't, either.

 

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    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for refusing to feed my sister's kids for free every day?
    via ClassroomBoring115
  • 03
    My older sister (37F) has 3 kids under 10. I (25M) don't have kids yet but I'm a junior sous-chef and I cook a lot in my spare time. During some recent time off from work my sister asked if I could babysit her kids after school for three days. I said yes. I watched the kids. She paid me for it and I thought that would be it. But then she asked me what the kids ate with me after the week had ended and then she wanted to know how I got her kids to eat a full meal.
    via ClassroomBoring115
  • 04
    Her kids are picky eaters. They are typically the kids who will eat what they like off a plate (meat and potatoes, rice or noodles) and then leave the rest (veggies, sauces). According to my sister and BIL, even if you give more veggies than something else they won't eat them and they'll wait until their next meal and if you give all veggies or insist they eat the veggies before anything else, they'll skip the meal. I sorta knew that about them before I babysat so I blended veggies and other goo
    via ClassroomBoring115
  • 05
    But they wouldn't eat them for my sister or BIL after. There was some back and forth between us and I shared some recipes but my sister said she couldn't get them to eat the food. So she wanted me to make food for her kids every day. I asked if she was going to pay me for spending all that time and money and she told me I should do it as a way to help my nieces and nephews stay healthy. I told her it's a big ask. She told me I have the chance to really help and put my skills to good use for fami
    via ClassroomBoring115
  • 06
    I feel like it's asking a lot because they expect me to make something every day for the kids. But my sister feels like I'm being a bad brother and uncle. AITA?
    via ClassroomBoring115
  • 07
    MrsNobodyspecial67 NTA. Does your sister know how much food costs? If she wants to buy the food and bring it over, and provide the disposable to go boxes then I think you should do it. I cook for people all the time for free, but they pay for the food. If you enjoy it, it gives you experience. But only if she pays for the food and costs associated with it.
    via MrsNobodyspecial67
  • 08
    ClassroomBoring115 OP She wanted me to accept the cost. Even though she'd already be saving money by buying less.
    via ClassroomBoring115
  • 09
    MrsNobodyspecial67 yea then I would say no as well. Food costs too much money right now and if you aren't working it is unreasonable for her to expect you to cover that cost.
    via MrsNobodyspecial67
  • 10
    MyCat_SaysThis Tell her "Sorry, no. I'm not a soup kitchen making and serving free food. I can't afford the time or the cost of feeding your children for free. They are your and your husband's responsibility, not mine."
    via MyCat_SaysThis
  • 11
    thick-standards90 So she's willing to pay you to watch them, but won't pay you to feed them? That math ain't mathen. NTA.
    via thick-standards90
  • 12
    ClassroomBoring 115 OP My guess is she finds it less intimidating to pay for 3 days babysitting over every day food. But then she should see why it would be a lot to ask someone to do for nothing.
    via ClassroomBoring115
  • 13
    thick-standards90 No, I totally agree, but does she not spend money to feed them every day? You mentioned how they're picky eaters, so why not give the money she's spending on food they're not eating and giving it to you so they will eat? Ya know?
    via thick-standards90
  • 14
    ClassroomBoring 115 OP I agree. But I think she sees it as a bigger deal anyway and maybe likes the idea of saving money vs spending it anyway. You would think she'd rather make the money well spent though. As in having what it's spent on be eaten. Oh well, apparently that's not the case.
    via ClassroomBoring115
  • 15
    Discount Mithral NTA. Has she seen how expensive a bag of groceries is lately?! And she wants you to increase your grocery spending by three-fold for free?! Not only that, but your time and effort to cook a nice meal should be compensated. I used to work service industry, I know a lot of cooks that ate like garbage at home because they spent all day cooking for other people, so the last thing they wanted to do when they got home was cook more food. It's close to the holidays, I might offer to ei
    via Discount_Mithral
  • 16
    ClassroomBoring115 OP The kids aren't big fans of their parents cooking in general. But veggies seem to be the thing they find the most unappealing. I had considered offering some cooking lessons over the holidays and some meal inspo for my sister and BIL. But I'm trying to decide if that would be a disaster or not.
    via ClassroomBoring115
  • 17
    Discount_Mithral Maybe offer to include the kids for some of the meals you teach? I often find that giving them agency on their meals helps them eat all of it. If you do lessons, maybe do a themed series like "cooking through Italy" or something. Have it be a bonding experience with either your sister and her husband or the parents and kids.
    via Discount_Mithral
  • 18
    Outrageous_Mode_625 This! Definitely include the kids in the cooking lesson! This helps give kids such a different relationship with the meal they eat because they know what every step took, plus they are more likely to eat it entirely after with pride for what they made. This can also give the kids confidence to join in on cooking with mom and dad regularly. I'm a pediatric OT with a specialty on feeding and picky eating. Any kind of touch interaction with the "yucky" food is one of the first s
    via Outrageous_Mode_625
  • 19
    Missus_Nicola Do the parents just boil veg to within an inch of its life or something?
    via Missus_Nicola
  • 20
    KayakerMel That's my thinking. When sis and BIL cook the meals, they could take shortcuts or make mistakes like that. Additionally, the kids also know their parents will let them get away with not eating.
    via KayakerMel
  • 21
    Dry-Fortune-6724 This is ridiculous. The kids won't eat the food sister makes because the kids KNOW they will get "something" AND dessert, even if they don't eat the "yuckie" food. They need to learn better parenting skills.
    via Dry-Fortune-6724
  • 22
    ClassroomBoring 115 OP The kids don't get dessert if they don't eat their dinner with their parents. They also don't get something instead.
    via ClassroomBoring115
  • 23
    SmartQuokka They want to offload not only the cost but the food prep labour onto you. NTA Helping family is an occasional babysitting or taking the kids out for the day to the local fair, not being a long term personal chef, on your dime.
    via SmartQuokka
  • 24
    Glad_Bobcat92 NTA Sounds like your sister is trying to leverage your relationship with her to get a favor. You are totally justified to ask for groceries to be covered and your time to be paid for. Otherwise, they're really just trying to get free groceries
    via Glad_Bobcat92
  • 25
    000ps-Crow_No Also she and her husband can just learn to cook & model good eating behavior instead of focusing on the kids' eating vegetables-the kids likely feel pressured & resistant whereas with you it was no pressure & a pleasant dining experience. My niblings love to eat at my house bc I don't make the whole meal about getting them to eat, and try to involve them in the process where possible, and I eat the same food with them. Tell sister to check out "Kids Eat In Color" for tons of other
    via 000ps-Crow_No
  • 26
    Dominique-Gleeful Nta they aren't your kids or your problem. SHE chose to have them SHE can feed them.
    via Dominique-Gleeful
  • 27
    1568314 Don't let her delude you into thinking an unpaid personal chef is something her children are entitled to. This isn't even like her asking you to give them free haircuts because you're a stylist. She's asking you to take on a whole- part-time job so she doesn't have to put effort into getting her kids to eat healthy. You can be sure that while she's telling you it's no big deal, she's dreaming about all the time she's going to have because she doesn't have to cook dinner anymore. The time
    via 1568314
  • 28
    llama_llama_48213 I am in no way undermining OP's professional skill. But sister could easily look up on Google different ways to present veggies to kids. There are blogs and books devoted to this topic. Rather than guilting her sister about putting her skills to good use for the family, da$m, ask OP for advice.
    via llama_llama_48213
  • 29
    fiestafan73 Being a good brother does not mean becoming her personal chef. Your sister is entitled AF. Give her some recipes and tell her to feed her own kids. NTA
    via fiestafan73

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cooking kids parenting food eating nephews aita brother siblings niece chef picky sister reddit thread Reddit mom
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